Define "chronic" masturbator.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
