Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
