he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize