You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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