I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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