So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am one with the molecules
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
