Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
