i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
