just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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