well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize