how can u be prego again
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
