textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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