if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Randomize
