I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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