Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
