I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
COCAINE IS GR8
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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