when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
