Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
