can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
