I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
