does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
