who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize