Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
