Have you finally orgasmed yet?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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