Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i love accidental penises.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
