i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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