I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The air taste purple.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
