oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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