my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
