it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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