I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
