his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it glows. i had to have it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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