I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
