was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize