she was so not down for the gang bang
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The air was thick with penises
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
