Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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