Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
