I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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