Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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