he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
