how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
