So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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