so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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