i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
