So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
