The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
