Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
