I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
