Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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