just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
