Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
