I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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