I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
