whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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