if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
