When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
