Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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