I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
