whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
