if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize