Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you traded sex for a burrito?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
