my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
