i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
