The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Congratulations! We have a period
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
