dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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