they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Found the puke drawer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
