I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
